Not Brave like Gryffindor, but Loyal like Hufflepuff

Since I last blogged I said I was conflicted I couldn't decide whether to stay or go. Well I have decided to pursue my dream one way or another. I really hope I am out there in the summer. I have applied for over twenty jobs, twenty - six to be precise and still nothing. Twelve of the twenty - six said well no. As for the others, not replied at all. I am getting very desperate. And it is all I can think about! AND it is simply too much to handle sometimes. 
Anyway I have decided to blog instead of doing any work. I have three essays due very very soon and I haven't even done one! Well actually I had four essays but one has been done and dusted, handed in and everything.  But still Essays: 3, Sam: 1 :( Ha, it is not going well. I have been very lazy, very lazy..or as I like to refer to my lack of work is due to me being on 'energy saving mode' (I use that line a little too much now.)
 I have noticed that my blogs haven't really had a specific topic. Like my last blog and I guess this one doesn't either. At the beginning I was full of hope, full of enthusiasm. (As you can tell from my previous blogs, I was blogging like almost every week and now I hardly blog once a month.) But now, a lot of that has faded and reality has hit. I thought I would have a job by now, I thought everything would be sorted quite honestly. I am still right at the beginning. (Minus the enthusiasm.) And it is scary, so scary that life is so out of my hands. I have always been in my safe bubble. I vaguely knew the outcomes of my decisions. I have had backup plan for those plans. But I don't actually have a backup plan for this. I could I don't know wing it! But I know that is way too spontaneous and well I am just not brave enough. (As you all know, I am not brave nor am I spontaneous) 
All this America thing is stressing me out! Along with my uni work and my plans for after my degree (If I pass this year and at the rate I am going, doesn't look like I will) I have big decisions to make this in regards to my future, my education and trying to meet the requirements for My Postgraduate Certificate in Education (PGCE) is well nearly impossible, since no school will take me on for work experience and well I haven't really had the time to follow up on these schools. and I have to apply for my PGCE this year! My motivation for my current degree is slowly fading along with my hopes of working in America this summer. 
What am I like ey? Always been bit of a pessimist, trying to think positively. but the glass has always been half empty for me. But I have gotten better over the years. I know that 'Things happen for a reason' and ' When one door closes another door opens.' I do believe that , but sometimes when you are in the moment you can't help but think the worse. Besides isn't it always the way? You can dish out the advice, but you yourself cannot take it. 
I am a strong believer in fate and I cannot help but feel that fate is stopping me from going to New York well to work there this year or perhaps ever. So it means fate has something better for me  but what can be better than going to the 'City that never sleeps' for three months? Well other than meeting Eddie Redymayne! Getting  a picture taken with him and an autograph. 
Here is a picture of the dashing young man <3 Such a dream boat <3

 He is currently filming Les Mis, and he was filming at my university! Well not my campus, but still...I am very upset that I didn't see him. (They where filming during the Easter break ) Wish I had realised sooner! Anyway besides my huge love/obsession with Eddie Redmayne, I have a backup plan for New York. Sort of. 
Basically I am going to give this whole working in America thing another month and if I still have have nothing. Well then I am going to go out there for two weeks on holiday and celebrate my twenty- first birthday out there. And I guess spend the rest of my summer in England and hope to get a summer job in London. Sorting out my PGCE and be ready for my third year. Not quite what I had first set out for, but if I don't get a job, this is going to have to be the way unfortunately. 


Anyway to end all this doom and gloom...have any of you signed up to Pottermore? It is pretty cool, where you can find out what wand you get and what house you truly belong in. My wand is 11 inches, Silver Lime wood and with Unicorn core. And I belong in the house of Hufflepuff. Though I secretly knew I wanted to be in Gryffindor, just like the trio, though I know deep down I am a Hufflepuff through and through. I wish I was courageous like a Gryffindor but I am not lol, I answered the questions truthfully and no surprise I got Hufflepuff.

 And Hufflepuffs are not known for the courage, hence why I am not brave enough to just 'wing it'. Huffs are known for it their loyalty and kindness :)
Down side is that is that you cannot pick your own username. 
Anyway one final thing, here is a trailer of 'My Week With Marilyn' starring Eddie Redmayne, (I haven't seen the movie yet, but I do have it on DVD...so I shall keep you posted.)

 And yes I know, it is bit of an odd title for this blog, but yeah...


Sam x