Thursday, 26 December 2013

Love, Hope, Faith, Dream

Hey all, sorry that I haven't had a chance to write a blog since September. I have been swamped with uni work and placement. Life as a trainee teacher isn't easy. It's crazy how I have been living in London for almost 4 months now and it feels like I have been here for ages. Sure I am currently at home for the Christmas holidays, but yeah London is my current home.

I am trying to count the amount of times I have been to Central London since I have moved here and I think it is only 3. I thought yeah I'm live about half an hour away from Central London I'll be there all the time. That is far from the truth. I know everyone says that the PGCE is a lot of work and you won't have time for anything. But I don't think I truly believed it until now. I thought I would have time to travel to the other side of London and visit my Ungrad friends...I have seen them once since moving to London...People weren't kidding when they said that you have no social life as a trainee teacher.

My advice for anyone who wants to be a the 3/4 year degree. (If Possible) I am what 4 months in, in my PGCE and I feel like I can barely cope. I find myself stressing and crying over everything. This is definitely not an easy path to becoming a teacher, but you have to follow your dreams. I know things happen for a reason. There was a reason to why I did my three year degree at Greenwich (I met the best bunch of friends possible. Who are always here for me even if they are on the other side of London and I never get to see them.) I believe that things happen for a reason. When one door closes another door opens.

Living in London does have it's perks, well kinda. (Minus the price). Getting home on a night out is so much easier than it is back in my hometown. It also doesn't cost a bomb to catch a bus for 10 minutes unlike back home. London is gorgeous at night and especially at Christmas.

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures while I was at Winter Wonderland. It was insanely busy and I was afraid someone would snatch my beloved iPhone from me. After spending a couple of hours in Hyde Park (Which is absolutely gorgeous in the summer and nice and cute in the winter.) My friend and her friends headed towards Southbank, (Another place I would recommend going in the Winter) Where they had lots of cute little Christmas markets and food that smell soooo good that it makes you want to spend all your money there. 

I did take one photo. It was so pretty walking along the Southbank and looking across the river to see St Paul's. I had to pause and take this pretty picture. It was so pretty, makes me want to take more evening strolls around London. Something about seeing London at night makes it all a little bit magical.

Being in London with my best friend and her friends made me think about being in New York at this time. And I can only imagine how beautiful and magical it would be. Strolling down 5th Avenue seeing all the beautiful Christmas lights and it lightly snowing over Manhattan. Or being at Central Park ice skating. (not that I can skate or anything). I have been dreaming about New York since I was 13. It has been a long dream. One day I will be in Manhattan walking down 5th Avenue, looking over Manhattan as I stand on the top of the Empire State Building, in the summer and then I'll be back there in the Winter letting the snow fall on me. (Despite that fact I absolutely hate the winter). 

I do hope to be in New York before I turn 30. It would be great. I need to keep saving for my dream to happen. I need to keep a hold of my dreams, to always have faith and hope.  

I am the world's most pessimistic person, my friends and family all know that, but I know that life isn't perfect, people aren't perfect. Things never pan out how you imagine or dream. I hoped that I would do well teaching, that it wouldn't be as difficult as everyone has said it would be. I have to stay positive I can't let the negatives get to me. I want to be a teacher and I know it won't be easy, but if I don't try I will never live my dreams.

So after this lengthy blog, I just want to say to never give up on hope, to always dream, to hold onto faith and love deep in your heart. Things happen for a reason. I know I don't always see it myself, sometimes I feel like all is going wrong, that there is no point in all this. That I want to give up because I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. That determination and belief is key. 

I failed my first two lesson observations, I thought I couldn't teach, that I should drop out now, that I was not born to be a teacher. How can a quiet and introvert person be a teacher? But here I am now, 8 weeks after the beginning of my first placement. I passed...despite not thinking I would a month ago, let alone making it to the end of my placement.

Hope you all having a lovely Christmas with the ones you love. 

Have Hope, Have Faith, Have Love, Dream. <3

Sam x

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